Just Let Me Be a Girl For a Minute

You know when you meet someone and you have that talk that really excites you?  I am not talking about the talk about all the sexy things that makes you both so aroused, although that is there and totally rocks too.  I’m talking about the talk where you walk away thinking “Wow.  I really like them.  That was pretty damn amazing”.  You know the talk where you end the call or Skype or whatever and realize you’d talked for 2 hours and it felt like 10 minutes?  It’s the talk where you find yourself just nodding so much and so many of the things you talk about dovetail.

I had one of those.  😀

Relief!

There is an end in sight.  I will not need surgery they think, and they didn’t mess me up by not having fiberglass casting material, and it’s not in the Jones region as had been predicted, so it should heal pretty well.  Yay!!!

It’s still 4 more weeks of no weight bearing, but that beats the heck outta surgery.

And I’m having fun flirting with a new dude.  We’ll see rabbit.  We’ll see.  So often these things pan into nothing but there is a shocking large amount of overlapping interest.. so I kinda hope it does come to fruition.  He’s dragging his feet a little, balking that I told him my foot is broken I think.. or maybe something else.  He’s cagey and I don’t have it figured out yet.  Eh.  What can you do?  I’m enjoying the flirting.  It’s so much fun to imagine.

Am I Being a Bad Girlfriend?

 

a couple’s feet intertwined in bed from http://1.bp.blogspot.com

“Am I being a bad girlfriend?”, I asked while naked and laying on our stomachs.  We kissed and our legs twined together, petting each other with our feet.  We grinned and looked a lot at each others screens, exchanging kisses and congratulations.  We couldn’t stop smiling and his skin was so warm and smooth on mine.

“Um… No.  There isn’t anything wrong with a little post-coital Candy Crush, is there?” 

*grin*

I suppose not.  😉

 

47 Things

Ever notice in poly you get to feel 47 things at once? 

I just got back from a wonderful vacation with Traveler.  It was relaxing and fun and beautiful.  I walked through the door and started unpacking and planning to walk down the street fair by my house.  Traveler and I plan to play WoW and maybe have a bite later and walking around sounds like a fun way to stretch my driving muscles.  Quinky Girl is outta town until tomorrow, and we got back a day earlier than her.  Poor man, Traveler has some more work stuff to do, but we’ll see how it goes and at least play WoW later.  I love it.  I love that even after all that time together we still want to see each other.  It makes me feel so fucking loved.  

So, checking in with everyone I have a brief chat with Cleveland and learn that he’s going to have bagels with his wife in the morning and can’t come have breakfast with me on his way out of town.  He can however pop by for a quick hug and kiss before his 2 week trip away.  He said he could do sexy stuff too if I like, and the only response I could muster was “heh”.  A week apart with no cell connectivity and almost no contact and seeing him before 2 more weeks apart also likely with little to no cell or other contact, and the plan had to change.  <facepalm>  I’m just not ready to feel or deal with that one.  I just want to enjoy my trip just a little bit longer, so I’m tabling my reaction to that.  And what good would it do anyway?  

Back to the good stuff.

Back to feeling wonderful.  Back to feeling relaxed and happy and loved.  Back to talk of the future and talk about the little scary things, and talk about everything else.  Back to the sweet time together.  Back to 800 miles of companionship and delicious dinners on the patio.  Back to sleeping wrapped like spider monkeys most of the time.  Back to kisses and hugs and snuggles and affection and passionate expressions that leave me breathless.  One situation in life will NEVER replace the other here in matters of the heart, but just for tonight, just for now, I’m going to concentrate on the good stuff in my life and maybe table the things that hurt.  Right this moment, right here and now, I’m deciding to feel just some of my 47 things.  I just want to keep feeling happy.  

Vacation… ahhhh.

Traveler and I are enjoying the Okanagan Valley pretty damn well indeed.  Isn’t it fun how time spools out in a vacation?  It’s never as long as it seemed it would be and it’s so lovely whiling away the hours relaxing and talking and eating and drinking good things, taking time and making time and just being.  

We found a vacation rental that is private, lovely, and perfectly suited.  It’s a carriage house overlooking a lake.  We are enjoying the grill and deck immensely.  It’s in a town called Kaleden, on the Skaha lake in Okanagan Valley British Columbia.  And it’s heavenly.  The mountains all around reflect the sun on the green rolling hills and vineyards leading down to the center lake, and everywhere are tiny little wineries and little mom and pop places.  I think I’m a little more into some of our wines than he is though.  But then, he knows a thing or two about wine.  I just like the yummy ones.

A picture in the Cascade Mountains, showing the shockingly green water

We woke up and had a leisurely breakfast of brioche french toast and pineapple and lazed about a good bit.  Traveler’s work unfortunately is intruding with something that shouldn’t be a crisis but leaves him no choice.. being annoying without really being actually urgent, but what are you going to do?  So tonight he’s snuggled into one loveseat and I’m in the other, he to work on work and me to blog.  He’ll need to spend a few hours tomorrow on it too, which is a slight bummer, but at least it’s not worse.  I’ll be glad when he’s done.  It’s been weighing on him and it’ll be nice when he can relax and have it behind him.

The time is drizzling from my fingers and going too fast.  Even this moment I’m trying to remember to take note.  I’m looking at him a little here and there, loving the shared time of separate togetherness.  It’s a thing I miss sometimes in polyamory, where time is so precious that it’s rare to have this “nothing” time together.  It’s precious stuff.. this evening computer time and laundry and errands and planning and doing the little business of life.  I’ve been enjoying more of it lately with Traveler and even some here and there with Quinky Girl, and I have to tell you, I’m a fan.

A delicious Okanagan wine, Haywire Syrah

I love that this is a real vacation, a trip long enough to have touring and fun and delicious passionate sex and hours of snuggles and naps, and dishes and grilling and watching a family of deer and trying again and again to video chat with Quinky Girl on her trip back east and just.. everything.  I don’t think I could ever stop wanting to hold him and pet him and kiss him.  I love listening to him talk about this work thing, hearing some of his philosophy on the ridiculous practice of evaluations.  I love our fits-and-starts game of Axis and Allies.  I love the delicious meals we are making together and his hands on my hips as I cut broccoli or him reading things off the net to me while I’m sautéing.  I like taking my time and washing every inch of him in the shower, exchanging smiles and wet kisses.  I am so content sitting here together.  Vacation.  Ahhhh.

I'm so excited!!!!!!

I want to gush.  I am so excited.  I’m so excited.  Traveler and I just booked our trip’s lodgings and it’s a go.  I’m dancing with joy.  We are staying in a realllllllly cool carriage house in Canada’s wine country in the Thompson Okanagan Valley, British Columbia.  It is right by a bunch of wineries in walking distance and it has a nice kitchen and a big private deck and a grill overlooking the water of a beautiful lake.  Traveler and I can tour the beautiful area.. hitting wineries and maybe even a hot spring and then come back to our cute little carriage house to grill a yummy dinner and share some of the wine from our spoils.  I’m picturing a sky full of stars and all of our yummy grilled goodness.  We’re hoping for some quiet nights to play games and relax and pet and just chill and days to leisurely explore.

Then, we’re stopping in Vancouver on our way back and staying at this totally wonderful hotel.  It’s all new and fancy and has all these cool features like chocolate on your bed turn downs and bathrobes and slippers and bicycles and umbrellas and electronic tablets you can use for free.  There’s a rain shower and the place has no bottles so they give you these glass things to use that you can fill with filtered water.  Fancy, no?  It’s not that expensive too.. any of it.  It’s pretty fairly priced I think.

But with all that amazing amazing exciting-ness… the part I am super jazzed about and over the moon about is time.. glorious precious amazing wonderful real time with Traveler.  Can you imagine?!?!?  4 nights and 5 days.  A road trip.  Adventures.  Meals.  Snuggles.  Sleeps.  Kisses.  Time.  Time for games and lusty experiments and just.. TIME!!!  I’m so excited.  Thanks for letting me gush a little.  I’m just so excited.  😀

Anticipation

Cat hoping on his back legs with his hands clasped found at: http://lisabttc.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/cat.jpg

I said something tonight at trivia that got me thinking a little.  I said I didn’t want to hope too much when it looked like we won or it wouldn’t happen.  My friend asked if I really believed my thought could change the outcome and I said I didn’t.. not really.  See, intellectually I don’t believe my mind can control things.  But it is an old old habit.  I catch myself wanting something, excited and I try not to want it too much.  I shut it down.  I have this old tape that says if you really want it it won’t happen.  And I realized I do this all the time.  I actually tell myself “don’t get too excited or you’ll mess it up”.  It’s so funny the things we tell ourselves, isn’t it?

Having said all that, I’m really getting excited for my trip with Traveler.  I can’t fucking believe it.  We’re planning a big road trip to British Columbia for.. get this.. 4 nights and 5 days.  It’s like a real vacation!  It is a real vacation!  I need to kill leave and I think he does too and what a great way to do so.  I spent a while before my date with Cleveland tonight and after looking at lodging and getting stoked at the idea of grilling with Traveler, and getting to drive with him a good long while, and going to wineries, and maybe hitting a hot spring.. and just.. whatever.  We could play axis and allies or stay in bed until 1.  We could do anything.  I’m almost giddy.  He seemed excited too, planning it with me last night.  (Don’t want it too much).  🙂

It felt like a while since I’d seen him and I guess it was a while since we’d had much time.  My last date with him was a week before and we’d met right before our weekends away for a quick bite.  It was a precious few hours after work and before we fell asleep, but it felt like a lot to reconnect and have fun planning our vacation.  We were both yawning a lot with our bellies full of tuna pasta and we blissed out on touch.  It was so nice to reconnect in all our little ways and to fall asleep sated and warm and happy.  I love our little mundane weeknights too.  It’s funny how long it feels now when I don’t see him for a week.  Time with my beautiful men has me spinning like the hills are alive with the sound of music.

 

Surrounded by Love

One of the things I really love about polyamory is the freedom to be surrounded by love and to surround those I love with love.  It’s been a stressful week in the SeattlePolyChick Murder.  We’ve all been working too much and had a lot on our plates.  One recent work day was 13 hours long.  So recent dates have included nice de-stressing walks, dinners, much petting, some computer help, a lovely wine tasting, yummy sex, a lot of WoW (world of warcraft) and general getting and giving of love and support.  These busy times that we live in take a toll, and it’s a beautiful thing to have such outlets for love and such love surrounding me. 

My computer runs a lot smoother because Cleveland took time out of his life to voluntarily reinstall my operating system. My pantry is full of enough wine for the next 6 months because Cleveland and his Wife and I hit wine country on a beautiful Saturday.  It was so nice to just relax and laugh and enjoy the sun with them.  And last night, the night before my first big event, I got some Quinky Girl and some Traveler.  

Quinky Girl felt like cooking and invited Traveler and I to have her delicious food and some time with her before Traveler and I had a little date.  Um.. yes please.  I needed Quinky Girl time.  Hugs and wine, and a delicious sauce of white peaches and mangos and cherries on grilled pork with seasoned wild rice, and a spinach salad with a warm feta dressing… mmmmmmmmm.  I walked up to kisses from Traveler and hugs from Quinky Girl and a glass of lovely white wine.  I put everything down and put on my hideous pajama pants (it had been that kind of day).  So we ate and relaxed with game 7 of the Stanley Cup, and I felt the stress dripping off of and freeing me with every delicious bite.  I so enjoyed the lovely snuggles too.  We kissed her goodbye afterward and told her how pretty she was and lovely she smelled as she ran off to her date and we kept being the giant nerds we are and played WoW with lots of kiss and snuggle breaks.  

Touch really soothes me and Traveler gives that to me in spades.  I feel my battery charge.  He is so loving and affectionate and good to me.  We got up from our computers to enjoy a beautiful sunset on his porch after he’d spotted it accidentally while letting the cat out.  We held each other and just stood there taking it in.  I thought about my Dad, and the letter I found in his stuff after he died.  He’d written it to me and never sent it.  It was about all of his plans as he readied for retirement.  He’d died 3 weeks after he’d retired.  He reminisced a bit in the letter and talked about his plans, and closed talking about the sunset and how he planned to watch more of them.  He’d always been a fan.  He said he was going to make time for more sunsets because he loved how beautiful and different they were, a new one every day.  

I was thinking about that, my father’s words, when Traveler squeezed me a little tighter and said “I love you so much”.  I kissed him and touched his face and his beautiful sandy hair and told him I loved him too.  I snuggled in under his chin, my head returned to the sunset.

Bliss.

I woke up this morning feeling loved, happy, sated, and warm.  Everything feels relaxed.  What a nice way to go into one of the 2 most stressful days each year at my job.  I joked that I should try to reserve him for the day before my big big event, but honestly I think I’m going to ask him for a date then.  I feel terrific.  It’s not a bad way to go into a potentially tough day.  

I’m sorry to gush on and on.  I just can’t help it.  I’m really happy and I just feel so good.  Touch someone you love and tell them that you love them for no reason at all.  Give just one extra kiss today.  Surround yourself and those you love with love.  Eat feta and snuggle, just maybe not at the same time.  🙂

Surprise Me

I felt like writing a dirty adventure.  An adventure, a dream, a fantasy.  Please do not read if talk about me having sex would bother you.  Thanks!  😉

God Damn.  I love how you surprise me.  You were full and we were both tired and I wanted to pet you.  It was so innocent, petting you while you were on your stomach on my bed, while you were on your computer, nice and sedate.  But touching you, oh man, touching you.. the electricity.  The buzzing heat boils over me when I touch you.  I could tell you were trying not to give into me and that made me hot somehow.  I wanted to win you.  I wanted to charm you.  My magic fingers began their work.  My fingers responded when you took in a breath or made a yummy sound, and I touched your back, your neck, your arms and your ass.  I ran my fingers over your legs and told you I needed you to be more naked.

On The Mend

Ahhh.. on the mend.  

I’ve been sick for a month.  A fucking month.  I’ve been sick so long I got my second period while sick.  Not fucking cool.

But, I’m on the mend.  My weird red eyes are now a light pink and my head is clear and my energy is back.  My cough lingers a bit, but it’s soooo much better.  I have hopes of returning to work again tomorrow.  I’ve had all kinds of time for reflection and I got a little off the beam and back on, maybe a little wiser.  My birthday was still totally cool.  Even sick and resembling the Star Wars Emperor, I had lovely talk and food and fun with my loves and friends and chosen family.  

Peaches came with Engineer, who is NOT her boyfriend *so I am told.  Cleveland and his wife were there.  As were Chicago and Chicago Boy. Fishnet came, and Traveler and Quinky Girl too.  We ate Moroccan food and played a little skeeball.  We were mostly all a little sick or a lot tired, but it was still a very very good time.  

And healing now, I’m making fun plans, naughty plans, and just plans to breathe comfortably.  Something about feeling better always makes me want to dance around with my arms flung wide like the Sound of Music.  

Mary Poppins spinning in a field of flowers, mountains all lit up found at:http://places.designobserver.com